


you put your arms around me and i'm home

by AwkwardBabyGiraffe



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: 9/11 (mentioned), A Shameless Fic To Make Them Hug, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Basically A Collection of Father Son Moments Over The Years, Coming Out, Drug Addiction, Father-Son Relationship, I Love This Father Son Duo, I wrote this instead of studying, M/M, Probably OOC But There Has Only Been Two Episodes So Sue Me, brief homophobic language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:40:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22442707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardBabyGiraffe/pseuds/AwkwardBabyGiraffe
Summary: New York had never been home for TK. Home had always been in his father's arms.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)/TK Strand (background), Owen Strand & TK Strand
Comments: 10
Kudos: 375





	you put your arms around me and i'm home

Owen’s not ashamed to say that he cried like a baby the first time he held his son. His wife was fast asleep in the hospital bed after a long and hard delivery, allowing Owen a moment alone with his new baby boy. TK felt so small and fragile in his arms but the grip he had on Owen’s finger was frighteningly strong. The baby cooed with wide eyes as his father whispered softly to him. “Hi, buddy. I’m your daddy. I’m always going to protect you.”

  
TK gave him a wide smile that turned into a yawn and Owen watched in adoration as his son drifted off to sleep. He could have spent the rest of his life in that moment; just him and his boy. He would give anything just to keep TK safe in his arms.

* * *

TK had just turned eight when the Towers came down. He went days without seeing his father, who was working tirelessly on search and rescue. When Owen finally came home, he was covered in ash and exhausted both physically and mentally. The boy couldn’t stop himself from launching himself into his father’s arms with such force that he almost knocked the man to the ground. Owen took a moment to steady himself before returning the hug with just as much gusto. 

  
“I saw the news. They said some firefighters had died.” TK whimpered into his father’s shirt; his face wet with tears. Owen held onto his son like a lifeline, gently stroking his hair.

  
“Its okay. I’m here. I’m okay.” Owen assured him, fighting back tears of his own. The horrors of the past few days felt a bit further away now that he was home safe with his family.

  
“I was so scared.” TK admitted quietly. Owen’s heart broke a little and he quickly picked his son up, setting him on his hip to look him in the eye.

  
“I know, buddy. So was I, but it’s okay now. I’m home. We’re going to be okay.” He promised. TK’s eyes glistened as he buried his face into the crook of his father’s neck. The grip he had on Owen’s shirt showed no sign of loosening. “We’re going to be okay.”

* * *

TK was thirteen years old when he got his first black eye. When he got home from school, he flipped up the hood of his jacket and made a beeline to his bedroom. He had managed to sneak past his mom without her seeing it, but his father was not so easy to evade. Owen caught him by the elbow, bring the young boy to a screeching halt. “Whoa, easy. What’s the rush, kiddo?”

  
“No rush. Just got a lot of homework.” TK grumbled, keeping his black eye turned away from the older man.

  
“Really? I’ve never seen you in such a hurry to do homework before.” Owen gave him a questioning look. “Are you okay?”

  
“Yep.” TK answered shortly, practically shaking with anxiety.

  
“Can you look me in the eye and tell me that?” The boy didn’t move. “TK, look at me.”

  
With a sigh, TK pulled back his hood and turned to face him father. Owen couldn’t help but gasp when he saw the dark purple bruise around his son’s eye. A strange rage flooded through him as he asked, “Who did it?”

  
“It doesn’t matter.” 

  
“Of course, it matters, TK. Somebody hit you!” Owen struggled to remain calm.

  
“I hit him first.” TK admitted, ducking his head.

  
“What? Why?” Owen couldn’t understand it. His son didn’t have a mean bone in his body. Why would he start a fight?

  
“It doesn’t matter!” TK yelled, turning away. The older man grabbed him by the arm, stopping him before he could get too far.

  
“Stop saying that! It matters!” Owen took a moment before continuing. “Tell me what happened.”

  
TK hesitated before answering, “This guy from my gym class was hassling me after school. He’s been messing with me for weeks and I couldn’t take it anymore, so I punched him and he punched me back. That’s it.”

  
“What do you mean he was hassling you? What was he doing?”

  
“Dad, please. Just drop it. It doesn’t m-”

  
“TK, don’t you dare say it doesn’t matter. What did this kid do?”

  
“He called me a fag, okay?” TK nearly shouted, tears welling in his eyes. Owen felt like he had been punched in the gut.

  
“He what?”

  
“He,” his voice cracked. “he called me a fag every day for weeks and I just couldn’t take it anymore. So, I hit him.”

  
“Oh, TK.” Owen sighed, wrapping his arms around his son. He resisted the hug at first but eventually melted into his father’s embrace. “I’m so sorry. Tomorrow, we’ll go to the school and talk to the principal about this.”

  
“Dad, no. I just want to forget about it.” TK begged.

  
“Its not up for discussion. Something needs to be done or he’ll never stop.” Owen insisted.

  
“Dad, I need to tell you something.” TK whispered after a few moments, pulling back to look up at Owen. 

  
“You don’t need to. I think I already know.” he softly replied. Owen had noticed a change in TK recently. He had become more withdrawn and unsure, like the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders. The boy had a secret and Owen was pretty sure he knew what it was. He was just waiting for TK to tell him when he was ready. Tears began streaming down his son’s face.

  
“You do?” TK asked tentatively. Owen nodded. “And?”

  
“You are my son and I love you. I will always love you no matter what. Nothing will ever change that.” Owen took his face in his hands, gently wiping away the tears. “TK, you are an amazing person. You are going to do amazing things and one day, you’re going to fall in love. And whoever you fall in love with is going to be the luckiest man in the world. And TK, I need you to listen very carefully to what I’m about to say next. I would never change a thing about you. I love you and I am proud of you just the way you are.”

  
As if a dam broke inside him, sobs racked TK’s body and for a moment, the only thing keeping him upright was his father’s arms. All the secrets and self-doubt and tension that he had kept bottled up inside seemed to seep out of him. For the first time in a long time, he felt light and free.

* * *

“TK, come inside. Its cold out.” Owen called from the front door. His son was sitting on the steps of the porch, his eyes staring blankly ahead of him. The boy was seventeen now. He wasn’t a boy anymore. He was almost a man but the sad, lost look in his eyes made him look young and small. “TK.”

  
“I can’t. She’ll need help bringing her bags inside. She took so many bags. She can’t carry them all by herself. I have to help her carry them when she comes back.” TK said, shivering slightly from the cold. Wearing only a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants, he wasn’t dressed appropriately for the late November weather. There were goosebumps on his arms and Owen could see his son’s breath when he added, “I need to be here when she comes back.”

  
Owen let out a heavy sigh and shrugged off his jacket, draping it over the TK’s shoulders. Guilt twisted his stomach as he took a seat next the young man. A moment of silence passed between them before Owen spoke, “TK, she’s not coming back.”

  
“She might.” TK replied hopefully, his eyes misty. “She might come back. Pete from school, his dad left for a few months but then he came back. Mom might come back, too.”

  
“Son, I don’t think this is going to be like Pete’s family. Things between me and your mom are,” Owen took a breath. “are complicated.”

  
“Was it me? Was it something that I did?” TK asked quietly. “Did Mom leave because of me?”

  
“No. Of course not. No.” Owen shook his head adamantly. “Nothing you did caused this. This is between me and your mom.” 

  
This didn’t seem to bring TK much comfort. Several moments of silence passed before TK asked, “Dad, are we going to be okay?”

  
Owen put an arm around his son’s shoulders and pulled him close, “Yeah, kiddo. We’re going to be okay.”

* * *

The day TK graduated from the fire academy was the proudest day of Owen’s life. His heart swelled with joy when his son walked across that stage and took his certificate. He had been picturing this moment since the day TK told him he wanted to become a firefighter. His boy, the light of his life, was following in his footsteps and he couldn’t be prouder. 

  
The moment the ceremony was over, and TK stepped off the stage, Owen wrapped his son in the tightest hug he could. The young man wheezed, “Gonna need to breathe soon, Dad.”

  
“Whoops, sorry.” Owen chuckled loosening his hold. “God, I can’t believe it. My baby boy is a New York City firefighter. I couldn’t be prouder of you.”

  
“Dad, I’m twenty-one. I’m not a baby anymore.” TK smiled sheepishly.

  
“Doesn’t matter. You could be fifty and you’d still be my baby boy.” Owen told him fondly. TK would deny if anyone asked him, but those words filled him with warmth.

* * *

“How long?” Owen asked, trying to keep his voice steady. TK was already a mess. He didn’t need his father yelling at him. “How long have you been using?”

  
“Since December.” TK told him, picking at the dried skin on his bottom lip. Owen shook his head.

  
“Eight months.” He whispered. “How did it start?”

  
“You know when I broke my leg during that apartment complex fire? The doctor prescribed me pain meds for my recovery. When the prescription ran out, I couldn’t function. I was agitated, restless, I couldn’t sleep.” The young man explained.

  
“You were addicted.” Owen interjected, trying not to sound judgmental. This wasn’t entirely TK’s fault. Doctors these days were giving out opioids like candy. TK nodded solemnly.

  
“I found a guy who sells pills. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t stop. I’m so sorry, Dad. I never meant for this to happen. You have to believe me.” TK was near tears and his hands shook terribly. Owen took a seat beside him and pulled him close.

  
“I know, buddy. I know.” he murmured. TK let out a choked sob and tangled his fingers in the fabric of his father’s shirt.

  
“What am I gonna do?” he cried. Owen swallowed the lump in his throat and stroked his hair.

  
“You’re going to get clean. You’re going to beat this.” He promised, pressing a kiss to the top of his son’s head. “And I’m going to help you.”

* * *

“You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay.” Owen repeated those words like a mantra, rubbing calming circles on TK’s back as he threw up into the toilet for the third time in an hour. He placed a cold rag on the back of his neck and pushed his hair out of his eyes. “We’re in the worst of it now.”

  
“I can’t. I can’t do this.” TK panted; his knuckles white from gripping the rim of the toilet. He was pale and shaking like a leaf. His skin glistened with cold sweat and his eyes were screwed shut as he sobbed and retched. He fell back into his father’s arms. “It hurts too much, Dad. I can’t.”

  
“Yes, you can. You can do this. You’re strong. It’s just the withdrawals. It’ll be over soon.” Owen assured him, pulling him to his chest. His heart ached as he fought back tears of his own. It killed him to see his son suffering this way, knowing there was nothing he could do to ease his pain. “You can do this, TK.”

  
“Please, don’t leave me. Please don’t go.” TK begged, grabbing ahold of his father’s wrist like he was afraid he might disappear.

“Shh. You’re okay. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. Dad’s right here.” Owen whispered, fighting back tears. He pressed a kiss to TK’ temple and held him tight. “I’m not gonna leave you.”

* * *

“I’ve got something for you.” TK told him suddenly. He and Owen were standing out on the fire escape of the young man’s apartment, looking out over the city. TK pulled a box from his pocket and held it out. It was small, barely big enough to hold a bottlecap. Owen took it with a confused look.

  
“What’s the occasion?” he asked, giving it a small shake. “I didn’t miss a holiday or birthday, right?”

  
“No.” TK laughed. “It’s an anniversary.”

  
“Anniversary of what?” Owen asked. He opened the box and immediately got his answer. His eyes began to burn, and his throat felt tight as he picked up the small gold coin.

  
“I got it yesterday.” TK told him. “It’s my sobriety chip.”

  
“A year already.” Owen smiled, looking up at his son with pride. “I told you that you could do it.”

  
“Well, I couldn’t have done it without you.” TK wrapped his father into a hug. “Thanks, Dad.”

* * *

“I’m going to propose to Alex tonight.” TK told him. Owen didn’t respond at first. He knew TK wouldn’t want to hear what he really thought of the situation. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Alex, he just didn’t think he was the right person for his son. In many ways, he felt like TK was settling out of fear of being alone. However, TK seemed happy with Alex and Owen didn’t want to get in the way of that.

  
“You’re an adult, you think it’s right, I say go for it.” He eventually told him, ignoring the voice in his head that screamed this was a bad idea. He offered his son a smile and a hug. “I’m happy for you.”

* * *

The moment the battering ram busted open the door, Owen pushed his way into the apartment. The whole world faded away when he saw his son lying motionless on the floor. Every fire and disaster he’d ever faced, and even his cancer diagnosis, paled in comparison to the fear surged through him. “TK!”

  
Owen was by his side in an instant, rolling him onto his back. His training kicked in as he began compressions. He was running on autopilot as he yelled instructions to the team like it was any other call. Except this wasn’t a normal call. This was his son. He wasn’t going to lose him. He couldn’t. Before he knew it, the Narcan was in his hands and he was injecting it into TK’s lifeless body. Several seconds of unbearable stillness passed before TK’s eyes flew open with a strangled gasp. Multiple pairs of hands helped him roll onto his side where he preceded to empty his stomach, the color slowly seeping back into his skin. When he finished, he collapsed onto his back, his chest rising and falling erratically. The confusion and fear in his eyes faded a bit when he saw his father. “Dad?”

  
“Its okay.” Owen told him breathlessly. TK lunged forward, wrapping his arms around the older man’s torso. Owen held him close and stroked his hair, trying to comfort him despite his own fear.

  
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.” TK sobbed. 

  
“It’s okay. You’re okay.” Owen lied. Nothing about this was okay.

* * *

“He’s in love with someone else.” TK told him, eyes still red and glassy. Owen was scared to let him out of his sight; scared that if he looked away, even for a moment, TK would slip away again. “That’s why he’s been acting so weird. A spin cycle instructor named Mitchell.”

  
Owen’s heart broke a little and he reached out to pull TK closer. Everything seemed to be falling apart; the cancer, the relapse. He wished there was something he could do to fix it. He thought back to the interview earlier that day; the job opportunity in Austin. Maybe there _was_ something he could do.

* * *

“Thanks for bringing us out here.” TK said just loud enough to be heard over the music. He looked happy; the happiest he’d been in a while. “I think we’re gonna be just okay.”

  
“TK.” Owen almost told the truth right then and there. He almost told him everything about the cancer diagnosis but the hopeful look in TK’s eyes made him hesitate. If he told the truth about the cancer, that light in TK’s eyes would go out and send him spiraling right back into the hole he had just crawled out of. Owen couldn’t risk that. “I just love you.”

  
TK smiled softly and leaned over to press his forehead to his father’s shoulder. Owen smiled and squeezed TK’s arm. He wouldn’t tell him the truth yet. He would wait until he was ready.

* * *

“He made dinner.” TK huffed after slamming the front door close. Owen was sitting at the kitchen island, sipping at a cup of tea and reading a novel.

  
“I’m sorry?” he asked, setting the cup and book aside. TK was a blur as he paced back and forth, his agitation building.

  
“Carlos, he made dinner.”

  
“Carlos the cop?”

  
“Yeah.”

  
“He made you dinner?” Owen asked, trying to catch up. TK nodded. “And this is bad?”

  
“Yes!” the young man threw his hands into the air.

  
“Okay, I’m going to need you to slow down and start from the beginning.” Owen said with a shake of his head. TK stopped his pacing and took a seat next to his father.

  
“So, Carlos and I have been seeing each other, you know casually.” He began, slightly embarrassed.

  
“Oh?” Owen tried to keep a neutral face. “And how long has that been going on?”

  
“A few weeks. And its been going great,” TK continued. “but tonight, I got to his place and he had dinner, and candles, and wine.”

  
“Dear God, that’s awful.” Owen feigned a gasp. TK rolled his eyes.

  
“He made it a thing. And I don’t want it to be a thing!” TK took a breath and closed his eyes. “I’m not ready for a thing. Not so soon after Alex.”

  
“Did you tell him that?” Owen asked, sipping at his tea. The young man hesitated, picking at the edge of his sleeve.

  
“No. Not exactly.” He muttered.

  
“It sounds like there’s been a lack of communication. I think the two of you need to have an honest conversation about you both want out of this,” Owen struggled to find the right term. “arrangement. He doesn’t know your history and you don’t know his. If you want to continue seeing him, the two of you need get on the same page.”

  
TK was quiet for a moment before grumbling, “I hate it when you’re right.”

  
“I don’t.” Owen chuckled. He studied his son’s face for a while. “You like this guy, don’t you?”

  
“Yeah, I think I do. Or at least I could.” TK admitted with a shrug. “I don’t know. He’s such a great guy and I’m just so broken.”

  
“TK, you’re not broken. You’re hurt and healing.” Owen told him, throwing an arm across his shoulders. TK leaned into his touch, tension seeping out of him. “If Carlos is as great as you say, he’ll understand that you need to take it slow. Just talk to him.”

  
“Okay.” TK sighed. After a moment he asked, “Will it ever stop hurting?”

  
“One day. One day you’re going to meet someone who will love you completely and truly and you’ll realize that Alex wasn’t your great love. Your great love is still out there, TK. You owe to him and yourself to be healed and whole when you find him.” Owen said. TK sniffled quietly next to him.

  
“Thanks, Dad.” He murmured, melting further into his father’s comforting touch.

* * *

“I have lung cancer.” Owen watched TK’s face carefully. At first, the young man’s expression didn’t change.

  
“What?” he asked. “That’s not funny, Dad. What did you really want to tell me?”

  
The two of them were sitting across from each other at the dinner table. Owen had sat TK down after finally gathering the courage to tell him the truth. “TK, I’m being serious.”

  
Owen watched as realization creeped into his son’s eyes. “What do you mean? Cancer?”

  
“Its stage one. The doctors are confident that with a few more months of treatment-” Owen didn’t even get the full sentence out.

  
“What are you talking about? A few more months? You’re already on treatment?” TK asked, his breathing picking up.

  
“Yes, but-”

  
“How long? How long have you known about this?” 

  
“I found out right before we left New York.” Owen admitted after a moment. TK stood up so quickly that his chair toppled over.

  
“Four months?” TK asked, quickly unraveling. “You’ve known that you’ve had cancer for four months and you didn’t tell me?”

  
“I was waiting for the right moment.” Owen tried to explain.

  
“And what would that be? Hmm? When would have been the right moment? When your hair started falling out? When you started coughing up blood in front of me. When I came home one day to find you dead on the floor?” Tears were flowing freely down his face and Owen fought back some of his own. TK’s voice was broken when he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  
“I found out the morning of your relapse.” Owen told him quietly, hating the way TK crumbled at the confession. This was exactly what Owen had been trying to avoid. “I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t risk pushing you further over the edge. And then too much time had passed, and I didn’t know how to tell you. I was just trying to protect you. I’m so sorry, TK. I never meant to hurt you.”

  
The silence that passed between them was unbearable and for several moments, Owen was afraid that TK would bolt. Finally, the young man choked out, “You have cancer.”

  
Owen was immediately out of his seat with his arms around his son. TK held on to him for dear life, sobbing into his shoulder. Before long, Owen was crying too and in an instant, the idea of dying of cancer became much more real.

* * *

“That nurse was pretty cute, huh?” Owen joked, nodding at the male nurse that had just left the room. TK laughed with a small shake of his head. Owen was laid back in a hospital bed, breathing easy with his now cancer free lungs. After months and months of treatment, the masses had shrunk to a size small enough to be removed surgically. Of course, there was a risk of it coming back but that would be years on down the road. 

  
“Yeah, I guess.” TK smiled. “Carlos is cuter, though.”

  
“So, that’s a thing now?” Owen asked with a knowing look.

  
“Yeah, I think so. He’s been so great through this whole thing and I think I might be ready for us to take it to the next level.” the young man told him, his eyes shining with hope.

  
“Good. I didn’t want to push but I really like Carlos. I think he’s good for you.” Owen admitted, wincing slightly at the pain in his chest. TK leaned closer, worry etched in his face. He had been by his dad’s side every step of the way since he found out about the cancer, all while holding on to his sobriety.

  
“You okay?”

  
“Yeah, just sore.” He sighed, trying to relax.

  
“Want me to get the nurse? Maybe he can get you pain meds.”

  
“I’m fine.” Owen promised. “Just stay here with me.”

  
“I’m not going anywhere, old man. You’re stuck with me.” TK smirked, taking his dad’s hand. Owen couldn’t help but laugh.

  
“I’m okay with that.”

* * *

“I think I’m going to vomit.” TK groaned as Owen adjusted his bowtie. 

“No, you’re not. Its just cold feet. Its completely normal.” he assured him, admiring his work. 

  
“Did you get cold feet?” 

  
“Which time?” Owen barked out a laugh. “I may not have had the best luck with marriages, but I know love when I see it and you and Carlos? That’s love.”

  
“Yeah?” TK asked with a hopeful smile.

  
“You remember when I said that your great love was out there waiting for you?” TK nodded. “You’ve found him. Now walk down that aisle and marry him.”

  
Tears welled in TK’s eyes as he pulled his father into a bone crushing hug. “Thanks, Dad.”

  
“You’re welcome. You ready?” Owen asked pulling back. TK nodded, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Then let’s go.”

  
Every moment in their lives, every up and down, had led to this moment; the day Owen would walk his son down the aisle to marry the love of his life in front of their friends and family. They had made a life for themselves in Austin, a life full of love and laughter and joy, a life they never could have had in New York. After years of heartache and pain, they had finally made it.


End file.
